Why Boundaries ARE Love

The Truth About Freedom Without Boundaries

The other day I came across a clip from a Cesar Millan episode. In the episode he said to his client ‘freedom without boundaries is chaos.’ I was immediately struck by the simplicity and power behind this message. So many of my clients struggle with creating boundaries. And the reason I am there is because, somewhere along the line, chaos has taken over in one form or another. Yet, understanding where and how to implement simple limits proves a daunting task. They fear that, by doing so, their dog will fear them or think that they don’t love them. But what they don’t see is that the dog is already afraid. They are already struggling. The dog has been granted unlimited access to their environment and as a result of all this love, they are actually suffering.

When the Dog Park Turns Into Disorder

What are some examples of unlimited freedom creating chaos? One that comes to mind is a dog park. In any one dog park, you will have an array of personalities. These include the happy go lucky, the introvert, the extrovert, and the patrol officer. Ideally, a dog park should be a place where dogs politely socialize. But, this only happens if the human is the ultimate referee. If the dogs do not sense that their humans have control, a pecking order will immediately begin to be established among the dogs. Because that’s how they operate. There always needs to be a leader with a gameplan. Now, take this dog run, dog park, and add in a dog that has been cooped up all day, their owner just got home, and the dog dragged them excitedly to the dog park. The owner then unclips the dog’s leash and allows this ball of unbalanced energy into the dog park. What do you think is going to happen? You guessed it….chaos. A dog was granted freedom without any boundaries implemented first. Sometimes this chaos is able to be checked by the other dogs. Why? Because what the human lacked with boundary implementation, the dogs brought full force. However, too often, this chaos, when left to the control of the surrounding dogs, leads to a fight. “Freedom without boundaries is chaos.”

Backyard Freedom Can Become Stress

Another example is a dog barking at people or other dogs through the fence from the comforts of their yard. Every dog owner’s dream is to provide their dog with their own backyard. But not every dog takes to this luxury calmly. For some dogs, this added amount of freedom equates to additional responsibilities that they weren’t prepared for: the responsibility of protecting their property! What was meant to be a kind gesture on the part of the human, the gift of a backyard, has now turned into a stress inducer. All dogs need to be taught how to behave on their property, but some need extra support and would prefer that you stay out there with them to guide them and keep them in check.Not every dog does well being put in their backyard, alone. “Freedom without boundaries is chaos.”

Separation Anxiety and the Need for Structure

A final example that comes to mind is any dog who suffers from separation anxiety. A dog who cannot cope without being near or in eyesight of their owner, poses a true danger to themselves. Living in a panicked state is not a healthy lifestyle. But there are some dogs who physically harm themselves if they have not been taught the proper coping mechanisms. I’ve known dogs that have escaped their home as well as a dog who jumped out of a closed window. While there are some cases of separation anxiety that are truly severe even with boundaries put in place, most of the cases I have come across have not practiced any kind of limits or boundaries including, and most importantly, crate training. I always tell clients that the crate is the direction your dog needs when you’re not at home. Some owners feel bad enclosing their dog in a crate while they are away. But if your dog is struggling with anxiety, THEY already feel bad. Too much space oftentimes is too much of a good thing and the space needs to be limited to help your dog focus and remain calm. “Freedom without boundaries is chaos.”

Why Boundaries Build Trust and Love

Freedom is a wonderful thing. But it is something that needs to be earned. When you have developed a bond of trust and respect with your dog, then giving more is the right path to take. The only way trust and respect can be achieved however, is if you’ve implemented boundaries in your lives together from the start. Otherwise, as Cesar Millan said, “Freedom without boundaries is chaos.”

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