When Did Common Courtesy Become Optional?

There was a time—not all that long ago—when people instinctively knew how to carry themselves in public. You didn’t need a rulebook or a sign on the wall. You simply understood that your behavior affected the people around you.

Lately, that awareness feels like it’s slipping.

I was reminded of that reality during a recent visit to Topgolf. What should have been a relaxed, fun outing quickly turned into something else entirely—not because of the game, but because of the atmosphere created by a group nearby.

A Shared Space Deserves Shared Respect

A few bays down, a group of people carried on a conversation where nearly every other word was an F-bomb—loud, constant, and impossible to ignore. It wasn’t just occasional frustration over a bad swing. It was their default language.

And here’s the thing: it wasn’t private. It wasn’t contained. It spilled into every surrounding bay, whether people wanted to hear it or not.

That’s the problem with public spaces—they’re shared. What you say and how you say it doesn’t just belong to you. It becomes part of everyone else’s experience, too.

When did we start acting like that didn’t matter?

Language Reflects More Than Emotion

Let’s be honest—everyone gets frustrated. Everyone has moments where a strong word slips out. That’s human.

But there’s a difference between a moment and a mindset.

When profanity becomes your primary vocabulary, it stops being expressive and starts being careless. It signals a lack of awareness—not just of your surroundings, but of the people in them. Families, kids, couples, older guests—all trying to enjoy the same space—are forced to either tolerate it or leave.

That’s not freedom of expression. That’s disregard.

The Ripple Effect of Small Choices

It’s easy to dismiss something like language as “not a big deal.” But small behaviors set the tone for bigger cultural norms.

If we normalize constant vulgarity in public, we lower the baseline of what’s acceptable. What once would have been considered inappropriate becomes routine. And over time, courtesy itself starts to feel outdated.

But it isn’t outdated. It’s foundational.

Respect doesn’t require grand gestures. Often, it shows up in the smallest decisions—like choosing your words carefully when others are within earshot.

Raising the Bar Starts With Us

The good news? This isn’t complicated to fix.

It doesn’t require new policies, enforcement, or confrontation. It simply requires self-awareness. A quick pause. A recognition that you’re not the only one in the room—or on the range.

Public spaces work best when people take even a little bit of responsibility for how they show up. When they remember that being considerate isn’t about restriction—it’s about respect.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about whether you can say something.

It’s about whether you should.

And that distinction matters more than ever.