Dog Lovers Beware: Not Every Pup Wants Your Pets—Here’s How to Tell

Every dog lover has been there. You’re walking down the street and there, coming towards you, is a dog. Big, small, pure bred, or magical mutt, standing before you is a potential four legged friend. You are instantly hooked. You find your hand suddenly outstretched and before you know it, you are attempting to pet the oh so fluffy canine. But, have you every stopped to think if the dog wanted to be pet? Or is the action to pet the dog purely self-fulfilling? Could it be at all possible that not all dogs want to say hi, to you?

The answer is, yes. Not all dogs are interested in interacting with strangers. And it has nothing to do with being a ‘bad’ dog. It has everything to do with the dog. Some dogs are totally extroverted and thoroughly enjoy parading around town, making friends everywhere they go. Some dogs need a minute. They wouldn’t mind being said hello to, they would just rather not rush into things too quickly. And then, there are dogs who have absolutely no interest in making friends with anyone outside of their family. So, how can you tell if a dog actually does in fact want to become your next best friend?

It’s all about the body language. Social dogs with a keen interest in accepting your friend request will have a very loose, wiggly body. Their ears will be relaxed and their eyes soft. Their face will almost look like they are smiling and as you are coming towards them, they are moving towards you with their nose in the air, catching your wonderful scent. A dog that isn’t totally sure about making your acquaintance, but not totally against it either, will look relaxed, but not as wiggly as their extroverted brethren. Their nose will be smelling the air, indicating interest in getting to know you. But, they will initially want to stay by their person’s side. These dogs do best with being approached from the side, not the front, and you want to allow the dog to close the deal.

Dogs that do not want to be said hello to will have a pretty stiff body. Their tail will most likely be straight up in the air, their jaw tense, and while their nose will probably be smelling the air to catch your scent, they will not be moving forward towards you. Their eyes will also look pretty wide. Dog’s with an introverted personality appreciate space and being left alone. Many introverted dogs have the ability to coexist and to some degree become friendly with people outside of their immediate family. But these relationships take time to develop.

So, why do some dogs want to party, and some would like a quiet evening at home binging their favorite show? Well, the same could be said about people. Everyone has their own definition of what it means to be social. Just because you like dogs, doesn’t mean a dog will like you. To force a dog into a social situation that they are not ready for is like hugging a complete stranger on the street just because you decided you wanted to make a new friend that day. There are certain actions that are just socially unacceptable.

In many ways, it is actually quite natural for dogs to not want to meet everyone they come across. Dogs have very strong ties to their home and their family and being overly welcoming isn’t something that comes as naturally as we may think. Some dogs, like people, are born with the natural ability to adapt and acclimate to life and the various curve balls it throws at us. While others are more resistant to the idea. In many cases of social ability, the dogs breed is also taken into consideration. For example, you have the Golden Retriever who was bred to be a social family dog with the ability to work well with others. Then you have the Doberman Pinscher who was bred to, among other things, guard the family. This is not to say that you can’t have a super social Doberman and an anti-social Golden. The point here is that certain skills come more naturally to some dogs than others and that has to be taken into consideration. After all, these traits were implemented and bred by…humans.

In dog world, how you introduce yourself is everything. And part of introducing yourself, is understanding the whole conversation. It’s not enough to just ask an owner if their dog wants to be pet. Look at what the dog is telling you. If a dog wants to be pet, they will tell you with great exuberance. If they do not, they will tell you in their own quiet, stoic way. If they don’t want to be pet, don’t take offense. After all, do you want to say hi to every person you meet on the street? By respecting the dogs wishes, you are actually being more of a friend, then making them do something they don’t want to do. So, the next time you see a cute four legged pup and you’re tempted to touch, ask yourself, is this what the dog wants?