The Bonus of Teaching: When Students Become Their Best Selves

As the school year settles into routine and the so-called ‘honeymoon period’ fades, challenges inevitably arise. At times like this, I am reminded of why teaching matters most. One of the joys of teaching and coaching is also part of what makes teaching difficult. Much of our success takes years to reveal itself, and many victories we will never witness at all because they will occur long after our students and athletes leave our classrooms and practice gyms or fields. Running into a former student or athlete or receiving an email years after graduation are moments of joy for me, and this year, God has blessed me with an amazing story to tell. 

It has been seven years since Laila (name changed for anonymity) graduated, and I will always remember her, as I still reference her in my classes because of her remarkable achievements and character. Coming from a Middle Eastern culture, she struggled to find her way in a predominantly white, suburban/ rural school district. Donning her hijab with pride, she embraced the good parts of her faith and culture, balancing an ideology that did not want more from her than to be a wife and mother. 

By her senior year, she was able to speak five languages, three self-taught, and was learning how to speak a sixth: Korean. I still have the small white board that she used to scribe Korean phrases that she purposely constructed to make no sense because she thought it was funny, and it was. She was geared to go to college and study languages so that she could work as an interpreter for a government agency. That dream came crashing down when she was told that her parents arranged for her to marry a thirty-year-old friend of the family. Even graduating from high school was compromised because the marriage could happen quicker than expected at first. Her future hung in the balance, her dreams threatened by forces beyond her control. 

Devastated and almost defeated, she chose courage over resignation. We studied literature of women in similar situations, and Laila did not let those lessons go to waste. She quite literally put her life on the line because she knew that if she did not, she would live well. A few years ago, I learned that she moved to Washington State to pursue her dream, which remained the same. She moved as far as possible from the people who did not believe in her, and she made good on the goals she set for herself. I was brought to tears when I read about her accomplishments, which at the time put her in college and living on her own. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. Again, Laila emailed me to update me on her life. This time, she shared the amazing news that she graduated from the University of Buffalo and landed a job as a librarian and English teacher in Buffalo, NY. The most humbling part of her emails was when she shared her gratitude for her time in my class and asked for advice.

Once again, the tears of joy and relief streamed down my face. These experiences are the bonuses teachers get, and they are worth more than any amount of money one can receive. This is a reminder to teachers and coaches about the impact we can have on our students and athletes. I’m reminded of my eleventh-grade English teacher, whom I interviewed for an assignment when I first entered the education program in college. She said that her Jewish faith taught her that the most important thing a person can do with his or her life is to positively impact others, and teaching, preaching holy scriptures, and serving as a politician offer the most opportunities. For her, teaching was the only option. I felt the same way, and after 21 years of teaching and coaching, emails like Laila’s prove that I made the right choice. I hope all the teachers and coaches out there take every opportunity to be the greatest positive influence in all the lives of the young people we have been blessed to have in our lives. When the weight of our roles feels overwhelming, remember: showing up as our best selves gives our students the chance to become their best selves. Being our best will lead to our students and athletes performing their best.