Man vs. Magnet: MRI Machine Wins in a Chain Reaction

Well, folks, file this one under “Things That Shouldn’t Need a Warning Label, But Here We Are.” In today’s episode of “How Did We Get Here as a Species,” a 61-year-old man in Westbury, New York, was literally dragged into an MRI machine like a moth to a very, very powerful magnetic flame—all because he thought it was a good idea to saunter into the room mid-scan wearing a chain necklace.

Yes, a metal chain. Into an MRI room. While it was on.

Now, let me back up in case you missed health class or have never passed by a hospital sign in your life: MRI stands for Magnetic Resonance Imaging. Magnetic, as in the giant machine could suck your house keys off your hip from across the parking lot. Magnetic, as in it can turn your forgotten paperclip into a high-speed projectile. Magnetic, as in you don’t walk in there with anything metal unless you’re trying to audition for a Darwin Award.

But our unnamed necklace-wearing gentleman apparently missed all the “Are You Wearing Metal?” signs posted like neon warnings at these facilities. According to police, he walked right into the room while a scan was underway—necklace and all—and got pulled in by the machine’s “strong magnetic force,” because of course he did.

What happened next was described by officials as a “medical episode,” which is a very polite way of saying “he got yeeted by science.” The man is currently hospitalized in critical condition, and while we sincerely hope he recovers, this incident deserves more than a little scrutiny—and perhaps a sharpie-written sign on the front door that simply reads: Metal + Magnet = Don’t.

Look, the National Institute of Biomedical Imaging and Bioengineering (say that three times fast) has made it painfully clear: MRI machines can fling wheelchairs across the room. Let me repeat that for the folks in the back—wheelchairs. That’s not a metaphor. That’s actual recorded science.

So no, you cannot “just pop in real quick” wearing your Mr. T starter kit while the machine is doing its job. The MRI is not your friend. It is not curious about your jewelry. It is a $3 million mechanical black hole of magnetism and bad decisions.

Also, can we talk about the staff here for just a second? Who left the MRI room unsecured during a scan? Was there a “bring your chain to work day” memo I missed? I’m not saying the man isn’t responsible for his own poor judgment, but maybe don’t leave the door open to a magnetic death trap either. That’s like leaving your front door open and blaming the bear for coming in and eating your dinner.

And bless the poor receptionist who answered the phone at Nassau Open MRI and had to say “no comment.” You just know they’ve been fielding calls all day from reporters, lawyers, and at least one very confused guy asking if he can still bring his metal hip in next week.

At the end of the day, this is one of those stories that sounds too ridiculous to be real—until you remember that this is America, where coffee cups come with “Caution: Hot” labels and people still ignore the “Do Not Climb” signs at the Grand Canyon.

Let this be a cautionary tale: next time you’re headed for an MRI, ditch the bling, follow the instructions, and maybe keep at least three brain cells firing. Because when magnets and metal collide, the laws of physics don’t care how good your chain looks.

Bless your headline, truly.